Lyrics:If It's Not Too Much Trouble

On all hundred charges there’s a consensus The law of the land will prevail There’s insider trading, fraud and the rest Plus, all of those damning emails Accepting payola, embezzling moolah And a dash of espionage Skipping bail, tampered mail, forging sales If it’s not too much trouble You’re going to jail

Wait, but, I thought we, ya know, “donated” our way out of this?

I’m sorry to say that your bribe was okay But it wasn’t nearly enough Your political rivals decided to pay To keep you locked up in handcuffs

There’s a price for freedom, a million per diem The system, it needs a massage No more bail Crooked scales (The gavel goes cha-ching) Justice fails (Check out her diamond ring) If it’s not too much trouble You’re going to jail

Peter, you’re my lawyer You were in charge of the bribes, fix this

Fortunately, my duty is complete And it’s time for me to move on (Wait, what?) You have radioactive levels of heat And you are not made of teflon

I’ve collected my fee, now you’re no use to me Our relationship was a mirage Time to bail I’m avail (For a new customer) To hook another whale (He’s a real bloodsucker) If it’s not too much trouble You’re going to jail

I’m pretty annoyed that my life is destroyed I thought we had this in the bag I made love to those I employed Now I’m treated like a scallawag I’m a member of congress Narc’d by an accomplice No honor in my entourage No more bail (No more bail, no more bail, no more bail)

Truth unveiled (Egg all up on your face)

Life derailed (A national disgrace) I’m in so much trouble I’m going to jail, jai

You are hereby sentenced to 87 days in a junior executive suite at the White Eagle Luxury Correctional Facility and Spa

Jail!

The White Eagle Luxury Correctional Facility and Spa? That’s where Cornelius Vanderock is locked up I’m doomed