Joe Hawley

This article is about Joe Hawley. For Joe Hawley's album Joe Hawley Joe Hawley, see Joe Hawley Joe Hawley.

Joe Hawley
File:Joehawley.jpg
Current Member of Tally Hall
Date of Birth:	September 23, 1982 (38 as of 2020)
Hometown:	Detroit, MI
Current resident of:	Detroit, Michigan
Other Names:	Joseph, J Hawls, wHaleJoey

Biography

Early Life

Joe Hawley went to Hickory Grove Elementary School and did well, even earning himself a Student of The Week certificate in 1988. Joe then attended Middle School in 1994, and started studying at Lahser High School in 1997. In 2001, Joe attended the University of Michigan, where he studied screenwriting. His senior thesis was a short film entitled The Other Way.^[1]

In fall 2002, Joe Hawley founded the comedy troupe AnonyMous,^[2] who then went on to release a short film of their skits, entitled Sargasm^[3]. A lot of these skits would later find their way into Tally Hall's Internet Show. Joe graduated from the University of Michigan with honors in 2005.^[4]

Joining Tally Hall

In Joe's words:

"Sophomore year in college, film school acquaintance Andrew Laurich and I were out videotaping a wedding. In the car on the way back, he played me a CD of his housemate’s high school band, called “ListedBlack.” I thought it was OK, but didn’t think much of it.
I had been to a few parties at their house, but the only person I really knew there for a while was Laurich. During Fall Semester 2002, Rob formally introduced himself to me (”I live with Andrew Laurich”) at a Musicology lecture. We began to get lunch after class semi-regularly, swapping e-mails and so forth. He sent me a few recordings of himself, Andrew Horowitz, and Zubin performing a small concert in the basement of the Frieze building, which used to be an academic facility on campus. I e-mailed him a couple of experimental tracks I had made over the summer for fun with my high school friend Andrew Kurtz: Covers of “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles and “Space Oddity” by David Bowie.
I was very surprised when Rob invited me to practice with his band one day; I had no intention of joining or committing to the project whatsoever. The idea of being in an actual band had never occurred to me. Steve Gallagher was invited around the same time (maybe a practice later or so), and Rob later told me that he thought I’d be an adequate lead guitarist based on some of the stuff I did in “Space Oddity.” I played a couple gigs with them (first as “Gallagher,” then as “540,” the address of their house) as a backup musician, but I didn’t really feel like part of the band until I suggested that we name it Tally Hall and Rob actually listened. He subsequently proposed it to the group (Tally Hall was one of many names I suggested via e-mail), and it was unanimous after some explaining to Andrew Horowitz, the only out-of-stater. I was basically Rob’s very inexperienced hired gun until we covered “Blinded By The Light” at the Blind Pig. Then Andrew wrote “Good Day,” I wrote “Ruler Of Everything,” etc."

On the 2006 website, Joe's bio read thusly:

joe is the tally hall moviesmith. a member of SAG, AFTRA, and equity, joe has been fulfilling general showmanship since the tender age of six. the simpsons made fun of him for singing "high hopes" in a children's hospital commercial.

MAJOR: film/english MINOR: none COLONEL: popcorn SHOE SIZE: 11.5 US

TALLY HALL'S JOE HAWLEY FACT SHEET DETECTIVE DATABASE ARCHIVE: FACT: joe is the oldest tally. FACT: joe is compiling a cereal cookbook. FACT: joe was senior class president in high school. FACT: joe has had several tragic pets. among them:

1. EDMUND (1999-2001). pac-man frog. ate one of joe's other frogs, CHUCKY. referred to thereafter as CHEDMUND.

2. COTTON (1980-1995). maltese. blind and deaf with no teeth; wandered over to the neighborhood lake. surrounded by a circle of honking geese. finally dispatched by a snapping turtle.

3. DUFFY (2004-2005). betta. DOA upon returning from new jersey.
FACT: in first grade, joe developed a condition known as "nintendo thumb." FACT: joe appeared on "unsolved mysteries." FICTION: joe hates white people. FACT: joe is obsessed with The Infinite.* he's pondering it right now.
DID YOU KNOW? "ruler of everything" is a song about time.

TALLY HALL'S EMERGENCY JOE HAWLEY CHECKLIST: 1. double-jointed fingers? Y 2. part-native american? Y 4. three? N

"JOE HAWLEY" ©1982 BOB AND DARLINE HAWLEY

When Joe updated the website later on, he elaborated a bit, re-copyrighted himself, and took out one of his pet deaths. And it read http://stl.dreamerstoday.com/DoubleOOP/joe-1.html like so"

joe is the humble tally hall moviesmith. a member of SAG, AFTRA, and equity, joe has been fulfilling general showmanship since the tender age of six. the simpsons made fun of him for singing "high hopes" in a children's hospital commercial.

MAJOR: film/english MINOR: none LIEUTENANT: dan SHOE SIZE: 11.5 US

TALLY HALL'S JOE HAWLEY FACT SHEET DETECTIVE DATABASE ARCHIVE: FACT: joe is the oldest tally. FACT: joe is compiling a cereal cookbook. FACT: joe was senior class president in high school. FACT: joe has had several tragic pets. among them:

1. EDMUND (1999-2001). pac-man frog. ate one of joe's other frogs, CHUCKY. referred to thereafter as CHEDMUND.

2. COTTON (1980-1995). maltese. blind and deaf with no teeth; wandered over to the neighborhood lake. surrounded by a circle of honking geese. finally dispatched by a snapping turtle.
FACT: in first grade, joe developed a condition known as "nintendo thumb." FACT: joe appeared on "unsolved mysteries." FICTION: joe hates white people. FACT: joe and jesus's dad share a first name. FACT: joe is obsessed with The Infinite.* he's pondering it right now.
DID YOU KNOW? "ruler of everything" is a song about time.

TALLY HALL'S EMERGENCY JOE HAWLEY CHECKLIST: 1. double-jointed fingers? Y 2. convoluted, cowlick-encroached scalp dressing? Y 3. part native american? Y 4. four? N 5. encyclobeatles joehawleyca? Y

if joe hawley persists, contact your local joe hawley control center immediately.

"JOE HAWLEY" ©1982 THE UNIVERSE

"Where's Joe?" Controversy of 2010

In March of 2010, Joe was not present for the tour with Jukebox The Ghost and Skybox. Casey Shea filled in for Joe (vocals and guitar), whilst wearing a black necktie. The band told the crowds that, due to unforeseen circumstances, Joe had to back out of the tour at the last minute, but nothing was said after. Curiously, in the months leading up to this surprise, Joe cleared out his Twitter posts and deleted (or well-hid) his Facebook page. The March tour went on, and more questions arose than answers. It was discovered that Joe was in fine health, but no one provided a clear explanation on his absence. Months went by, and in September of 2010, a show at Denison University occurred with Casey Shea in lieu of Joe, once again. This controversy began feeding the anger amongst fans who were already riled up over the delayed release of Good & Evil, which had its ETA pushed back multiple times.

October 2010 brought more curious changes to the as-yet-untold story of Joe Hawley and his involvement with the band. He moved to Nashville, Tennessee. The short story there was that his lease was up in Brooklyn, and a friend of his was moving to Nashville and invited Joe to stay with him. A few months later, he moved back to Michigan, where he currently resides.

Joe, officially, addressed his "disappearance" on Tally Hall's June 15 Ustream, over a year after his original disappearance occurred. "My personal life and my professional life intersected in a way that may have been considered unsavory," he explained. "Given that conflict, I was unable to tour." No band members have given a further explanation to this statement.

                              == Transphobia Allegations.(and racism)(and grooming) ==

After Joe Hawley was asked to put pronouns in his bio to show solidarity with trans folks (which Ross and Andrew recently did), he instead: demanded that they (youngest being 15) explain why he should care started deleting all comments related to it called trans and nonbinary people “transvestites” and the h slur. [ID: An Instagram conversation between Joe and an anonymous messenger.]

Joe: Is this [redacted] or not Messenger: No? I don’t know who that is Joe: Not sure if I believe you Joe: but defy your biology at your risk. (h slur) seem ok Joe: Please try to stay on topic with public posts to my account

Messenger: I’ll restate that I am not [redacted], but please recognize the following you have and how many of those people are LGBTQ+ [END ID] Note: The redacted name is one of his ex girlfriends.

[ID: A discord conversation with two people, both of their names are redacted with orange and green boxes.] Orange: am actually genuinely afraid of this man Orange: lemme spill some tea Orange: so basically im a semi active user of facebook so i liked TH and their solo projects' facebook pages Orange: normal, wanted news for their stuff Orange: then it just so happens that joe shared a cover for aristotle's denial and i left a normie comment like "sounds cool thanks for sharing " Orange: b###h sent me a friend request Green: are you… female Orange: HA Orange: yes Green: god damn that's creepy Orange: lmao i thought it was a poser acc? Green: no the dude definitely creeps on - how old are you? like how old were you when this happened? Orange: like god damn who would ever think Mr Joe of the Hawley would ever send a friend request to a dumb b###h like me Orange: it happened a couple months ago like im 19 [END ID]

Still (as of 2019) Joe defends Banana Man is “racial”, not racist, and that the stereotyped vocals and lyrics are a tribute to how Harry Belafonte also put on an exaggerated Jamaican accent to sing. But Belafonte is actually Jamaican by birth.

                       MISTREATING COLLABORATORS (2016 -> Present)

Joe’s ex-girlfriend didn’t want her voice in Hoodz in the Woodz but had to ask multiple times to be removed (note the time difference between the two emails), and she was treated rudely when he finally complied.Her flute solo was left in the final track. [ID: An email conversation between Joe and his ex girlfriend] Re: “Hoods in the Woods (feat. [REDACTED] and Alex Kessler) On Feb 24, 2016 at 8:46 PM, Joseph Hawley wrote: Yes, this is still in progress. There will be rhymes (you're welcome to try anything you hear) Your Dragon Warrior might also work as a sample On February 24, 2016 at 9:09 PM, [redacted, along with her email] wrote: I’d rather you not use anything of mine, although I understand at the time I recorded Faron Woods for Bora/you/this [next image] On Jul 9, 2016, at 6:10 PM, [redacted, along with her email] wrote: What do I have to do to get my work and my name removed from your remarkably lackluster “hip-hop” project? Name your price. On Jul 9, 2016, at 6:12 PM, Joseph Hawley wrote: Rude. Consider it done. You and [redacted] should be ashamed of yourselves. Don't contact me again. [redacted] wrote: I'm rude? I asked you to not use my work. If you cared about me, ever, or about anyone other than yourself, you'd have done this already. You're a disgrace, and the only thing I have to be ashamed of is ever having seen anything in you [END ID] Lemon Demon/Neil Cicierega never got back to Joe over his offer to collaborate on JHJH. While he never publicly stated why, it's likely because Joe's ex and Neil's wife are (apparently) friends. Joe has offered for Lemon Demon to be on his personal “hip-hop” album Joe Hawley Joe Hawley, but Neil Cicierega never responded and appears to avoid contact with Joe. Important to note that this is just hearsay, and has yet to be confirmed. Joe Hawley has a history of leaving people completely in the dark when collaborating with those who work with him, and monetizing fan-made content as his own, along with making albums filled with illegal samples. When Tally Hall went on their Good & Evil tour, Joe infamously had to leave mid-tour because he went to court about violating a restraining order on a woman he stalked. He has confessed to it, at least partially. [ID: A conversation between a “friend” and Joe, on June 6th, 2018] Messenger: I don’t intend to Messenger: That would only make it worse Joe: It was tough enough without her compounding it during my effort to be there for her during her fight with terminal cancer Messenger: Yeah it seems as if people have twisted this story ten fold Joe: The Haffey thing was serious Messenger: It sounds like it! Messenger: As long as you’re comfortable with your current self, i.e with (purple redacted name) and so on, then there is no need to look back Joe: (purple) is not a girlfriend Messenger: Did (red redacted name) wrongly accuse you of something and then got you sent to Brooklyn court? Joe: I’d rather not discuss it anymore; (red redacted name) could clear my name and help me feel better about the situation, but she chooses to remain aloof Messenger: I understand, I won’t understand the situation but I’m glad you were able to vent it out dude Joe: Please do not try to find/contact her. This is the information with which (yellow redacted name) appears to have run Messenger: I don’t intend to Messenger: That would only make it worse [END ID]

The messenger was a fan before she met Joe, and they had/have(?) some sort of relationship which no one is sure of the nature of. She was 23 when they met. He was 35. The maturity gap there should be noted as particularly weird. This is a pattern with women that Joe chooses to interact with. This statement is not about legality, either. It’s about the maturity gap. [ID: An anonymous tumblr ask from Joe’s ex girlfriends tumblr]

Anon: “i used to really like joe hawley but seeing the things you say about him has really opened my eyes… i probably won’t be supporting his music-making anymore. It hurts to see that he’s such an awful person after i looked up to him so much but i can’t even imagine how much pain he’s caused YOU, so my feelings don’t even compare. Thanks for your posts. I’d rather know the truth than to “idolize” someone so gross.” His ex: “Thank you for the words of support! Sometimes I wish I were less… vindictive(?) but he really has made my life varying degrees of miserable for the past year. He “advised” me against telling people about us, he tried for many months to get me to quit my cancer treatment (which would be, uh, fatal) and for a lot of the time he made me feel lucky to be dealing with all of it. It was an extremely unhealthy relationship. And the more mutual friends I talk to about him, the more I know that I’m far from the only one he mistreats. Also, I guess he lowballed his fundraiser goal, and/but now he’s obligated to fulfill all the shirt/cd rewards or whatever they’re called? I gave a feeling he’s going to come up with a BUNCH of disappointed fans… which is a shame, but I’m hoping it’ll force him to acknowledge what a fu##up he’s become. (it’s not likely - I’m sure he’ll find someone to blame, because he is, of course, a perfect beacon of a human being)” [IMG DESC: A photo of a tumblr post.] “He dropped the whole police thing, unfriended me, and blocked my number. What a classy guy” [END ID] His ex had/has(?) a tumblr blog which had a LOT of claims against him, however it is also something that i am unaware of the link/I have no contact for her. She was also an ex fan who was younger when she met Joe. The excuse that “she was a fan before, she’s only saying this to sabotage his career” does not defend Joe. Think about that statement for just one second. He specifically targets younger fans of his music and consistently victimises himself. [ID: a screenshot of a tumblr anonymous ask from two years ago.]

Joe was fired from a volunteer job after trying to pressure minors into taking psychedelics.

From personal accounts of what they can remember of the evidence of screenshots, the drugs that Joe admitted to giving to minors were rosewood seeds, a well-known psychedelic.

Anon: Why does no one care what a dirtbag he is! He’s been abusive in several ways to several women! He got fired from a VOLUNTEER gig for pushing psychedelic substances on minors! (keysmash) His ex: i care. joe hawley should be in prison. [END ID]

[IMG ID: A discord conversation between one writer of this doc (green) and a person recalling the screenshots (red)] Green: I do wish we had whatever screenshots supposedly proved the “giving minors psychoactive substances” thing though because that’s still just hearsay Red: i totes saw those screenshots i don’t know what happened to them Green: yeah enough people seem to remember that i figured it was worth keeping in Green: it’s one thing to say “adults should be held accountable for their actions” and it’s another thing to realize that whatever consequences come from there on out will be in part by your hand, so forgive the sudden neuroticism here Red: it was so dumb too he was like “it’s a matter of opinion that rosewood is a psychedelic, you could say that anything is a psychedelic if you want to” or some #hit like that (i only vaguely remember what he said but it was something along those lines) [END ID]

Miracle Musical

Joe is one of the founding members of ミラクルミュージカル, AKA: Miracle Musical, spearheading the project and collaborating with fellow Tally Hall members, and producer Bora Karaca to create a full-length LP entitled: Hawaii: Part II, which was released on the 12th of December, 2012.

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley

On October 21st, 2016 Joe Hawley released a comedy hip-hop album entitled" Joe Hawley Joe Hawley, his first solo release under his given name. On April 16th 2019, Joe released a reversed version of the album, entitled: γɘlwɒH ɘoႱ γɘlwɒH ɘoႱ, this was done to avoid copyright issues.

Solo Work

As ミラクルミュージカル

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley

As Joe Hawley:

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley
Special (feat. Isaac Castor & Nabors) - Single
Since I Don't Have You (ft. Coz Baldwin & Casey Shea)

Fun Facts

Joe's middle name is Robert

Joe has a Twitter account, in which he records his dreams.^[5] The username "wHaleJoey" is an anagram of Joe Hawley. Joe has since deleted his Twitter account and the username has been claimed by another user.

Joe took direct inspiration from an unfortunate event that occurred at Rotary Park, he and Zubin were mugged there. Leading to the production of Rotary Park in his JHJH album.