Shia LaBeouf

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Shia LaBeouf / Shia LaBeouf Live
Shia LaBeouf Live Single Cover.jpeg
Written by Rob Cantor
Appears on Shia LaBeouf Live (Single), Shia LaBeouf (Single)
Sung by Rob Cantor
Duration 1:51 (original), 2:35 (Live)
Genre Musical, Comedy, Novelty
Language English
Links: Original Version
"Live" Version
"Padma Lakshmi" Version

Shia LaBeouf is a song by Rob Cantor which went viral in late April 2012, particularly on Tumblr, inspiring countless amounts of people to create images, videos, and written anecdotes all based around the lyrics of the song. The term "Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf" (a lyric of the song) had become an internet meme (For more details, check the official KnowYourMeme page[1] on the song.)

The song is available for purchase from iTunes, or Rob's Bandcamp[2]. It is also available to stream on Spotify.[3].

History

The original inspiration occurred when Rob and Andrew Laurich were helping another friend move. Andrew started whispering Shia LaBeouf's name dramatically, they found it funny, and later Rob wrote a whole song around it.[4] In an interview with The Washington Post, Rob says it was originally written in the hopes that 'Funny or Die' would want to use the song in a video featuring the actual LaBeouf.[5]

Funny or Die would pass on the song, and the demo sat on his hard drive for a year until Rob created his online portfolio at RobCantor.com (dead link) and SoundCloud profile[6], where it was inevitably found by a fan of Tally Hall and soon after posted to the Hidden in the Sand Twitter account[7] for everyone else to hear. Within hours, it was on the front page of Reddit and BoingBoing[8]. In 36 hours, the song amassed nearly 14,000 plays on SoundCloud[9].

So, why Shia LaBeouf of all people? In the interview, Rob says "It was more that his name, when whispered really intensely, just made me giggle."

Resurgence / Shia LaBeouf Live

 
Shia LaBeouf Live

On October 21st 2014, Rob Cantor released a music video for a new, extended version of the song called Shia LaBeouf Live[10], complete with an orchestral arrangement in honor of the meme's popularity each Halloween season. The video depicts a "live" stage performance of the song featuring a men's chorus, children's choir, string quartet, and interpretive dancers; some of whom adorn a giant Shia LaBeouf head. The video ends with a single audience member clapping alone in the dark auditorium. As the camera pans, we see it is Shia himself dressed in a tuxedo and mimicking the popular Citizen Kane clap.

Its popularity would inspire NBC to hire Rob to create a parody of Shia LaBeouf with lyrics about a fictional celebrity deathmatch show "Celebrity Manhunt", hosted by Padma Lakshmi, in addition to promoting NBC's 2015 show lineup.[11] The video would be premiered at NBC's NBCU Upfront event, and was specially made/shot for playback on 5 big screens.[12]

Trivia

  • The fitness app/game Zombies, Run! 2[13] features a mission called "Actual Cannibal Rescue Mission".


Lyrics

The original version of Shia LaBeouf ends after "You have beaten Shia LaBeouf."

You're walking in the woods
There's no one around,
And your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
Shia LaBeouf.

He's following you
About 30 feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He's gaining on you
Shia LaBeouf.

You're looking for your car,
But you're all turned around
He's almost upon you now
And you can see there's blood on his face!
My god, there's blood everywhere!

Running for your life
(From Shia LaBeouf)
He's brandishing a knife.
(It's Shia LaBeouf)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia LaBeouf)
Killing for sport,
(Shia LaBeouf)
Eating all the bodies
Actual cannibal Shia Labeouf.

Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him,
But you're hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with a murderer,
You creep silently through the underbrush.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small cottage with a light on.
Hope!
You move stealthily toward it,
But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap!

Gnawing off your leg,
(Quiet, quiet)
Limping toward the cottage,
(Quiet, quiet)
Now you're on the doorstep,
Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf.
Sharpening an ax,
(Shia LaBeouf)
But he doesn't hear you enter,
(Shia LaBeouf)
You're sneaking up behind him.
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,
Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf,
Stab it in his kidney.
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf

You limp into the dark woods,
Blood oozing from your stump leg
But you have won
You have beaten Shia LaBeouf

Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise!
There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes.
But you can do jiu jitsu… (Can do it) body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf.

Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf.
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf.
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf.
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg.

He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left.
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck.
You’re chopping off his head now….
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf.

His head topples to the floor, expressionless.
You fall to your knees and catch your breath.  
You are finally safe from Shia LaBeouf.

Padma Lakshmi Lyrics

You're walking in the woods
There's no one around and your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye you spot her
Padma Lakshmi

She's following you, about 30 feet back
She moves like a puma, nimble and quick
She's gaining on you
Padma Lakshmi

You're looking for your car but you're all turned around
She's almost upon you now and you can see there's something in her hand
My god, that's a meat cleaver!

Running for your life from Padma Lakshmi
Brandishing a knife, it's Padma Lakshmi
Lurking in the shadows
Beautiful elegant Padma Lakshmi
Hiding in the woods (Padma Lakshmi)
Hunting for sport (Padma Lakshmi)
By day, host on your TV screen
By night, cold-blooded killing machine

She stops and fires a flare gun
You realize Padma's not hunting alone
The others quickly find you
It's a veritable who's who of TV stars, and you think,
"What the hell is this, some kind of secret celebrity killing club?"
Yes.

Fighting for your life with the cast of Suits
All 12 Monkeys are in cahoots
You're dodging their attacks and landing blows
Defending yourself from your favorite shows
Barrel into Kim Kardashian West
You impale her with a branch to the chest
Blocking your path, there's a man with a cannon
That man's name: Nicholas Cannon

You're surrounded. You beg for mercy, but Lakshmi laughs
She says, "My dear boy, we've only just begun"
Then Todd Chrisley drops from a tree
He's got you in a headlock but you break free
Ahh! Real Housewives everywhere!
Flipping over tables that aren't even there
Knife Fight with Ilan Hall
It's not just a show coming out this fall
Syfy's Ian Ziering is nearing
Naked except for a shark tooth earing

You come to a cliff, there's water below
Could you survive? You don't really know
You're jumping off the edge now
You have just been hunted on our new cable show

You land safely in the river and float downstream
Congratulations, you've just survived Celebrity Manhunt coming to Tuesday nights this fall
Only on NBCU Cable Entertainment!

We've got an all-star cast made of household names
Think Housewives meets Hunger Games
Premium content for every screen
From the starting bell to the final scene
Yes, some contestants may die
It's a small price to pay for a big KPI
Get ready for ratings, it's in the bag
We're so sure it's a hit that we've printed up swag
Upfront season is ending today
Lockdown is nearing, it's moments away
Take out your checkbook, take out your pen
Let the purchasing frenzy for this one begin!

Just one more important announcement
We'll be having an open casting call for contestants
If you're interested...
Please speak with John Cena, at the post party

Tabs/Chords

Nothing here, yet! Please add them!

References

Solo Singles
 

By ミラクルミュージカル
Variations On A Cloud · Candle On The Water

By edu / Andrew Horowitz
Have a nice day (interludinal) · Miss Melody · Lemons and Pears · HEY YOU! · Hummingbird

By Rob Cantor
Shia LaBeouf · Christian Bale Is At Your Party · Old Bike · Ghost · Shia LaBeouf Live

By Joe Hawley
Special (feat. Isaac Castor & Nabors) · Since I Don't Have You (feat. Coz Baldwin and Casey Shea) · Weird Bed &/or Yes Please · Yes Please &/or Weird Bed · Sleigh Ride Invincibility Star · Everything Means Nothing To Me (Instrumental) · Everything Means Nothing To Me (feat. India Valladares Lovelace IV) (removed)