Lyrics:I'm Not a Guru

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Lyrics

SPOKESMAN:
I'm not selling anything
(Nothing)
I don't have a product
(Giggle, Giggle, Giggle)
I'm simply here to tell you everything's going to be okay
(Everything's going to be okay)
Whatever you've done,
whatever harm you've caused to yourself or others,
there is a light at the end of this journey
(Go to the light)
I'm not pushing religion
I have no cures
I have no answers
I'm just telling you everything's going to be okay

RICHARD:
Aww, that's really sweet

THE SNOOCH:
Yeah, it's nice to see good people just sending postive messages

SPOKESMAN:
Now please send me a check for $50,000 to the address on the screen, right now
(Send us the money)

Again, I'm not selling anything
I'm not a guru
I'm just a regular guy
And I want $50,000
No strings attached
No expectations
You'll never see this money again

RICHARD:
Huh

THE SNOOCH:
Yeah, Yeah
It really took a turn
I think I'm gonna send it

RICHARD:
Yeah 
Me too