JUDGE:
Congressman Richard Dutch,
please rise for the sentencing
RICHARD:
(clears throat)
Your Honor,
I am ready to accept the will of the people
Jesus Christ, my lord and savior,
and of course, some of the more fringe gods just in case Jesus was a swing and a miss
JUDGE:
(Mm)
It pains me to do this,
given the ample bribes your team has provided me over the course of this lengthy trail,
but unfortunately, the other men of influence who offer bigger bribes are not align with your specific brand of corruption
So, I have strong armed this jury into making this decision