GUARD:
But have you slept sans a silky mask?
Played golf carrying a bag?
Eaten oysters with your hands?
(laughs through Richard's verse)
RICHARD:
Why wouldn't I just use an oyster fork?
Wait, are there no oyster forks?
What fresh hell is this?
GUARD:
Stop
Collaborate
and listen to the type of sound that will be playing up and down
Vanilla ice is on loop all year round
(RICHARD: That's too much novelty rap)
Pumpkin Spice
(RICHARD: (gasp) Ew!)
Yankee Candles fill the hall
smells like a November shopping mall
Your life is Starbucks in the fall
Shakespeare, Parades, Butterscotch
All good in small doses
But they're ever present
Morning, Noon, and Night
Guess what happens when you only drink champagne?
Outstanding is reduced to plain
Constant carbonation will drive you insane
You won't last a day