Crazy F****

Crazy F****
Written by	Joe Hawley
Appears on	Joe Hawley Joe Hawley
Sung by	Joe Hawley
Genre	Rock
Language	English

Crazy F**** is a song by Joe Hawley.

Song Meanings

"Crazy F****" is a song about the plethora of food at a farmer's market.

Trivia

The song references "Scarborough Fair," a old English folk song played by Simon and Garfunkel, among others. The first verse shares its melody, and the lyrics "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary," are referenced in the shopping list/rap part of the song.

Lyrics

Are you going to eat that crazy fruit?
May I please have some of it too?
Oh I hope that it does not give you any just.
This was once a true fantasy of mine

Sh*t, it's f*cking bonkers at the farmer's market
Drove this G*dd*mn Jeep and there's no place to park it.
What the f*ck? Gus, check out that lazy dude
With all that crazy food
Handing apple samples out to known customers

F*ck, find that punk,
If sh*t ever gets dire,

• • • the ****, he's Superman,
      

who the heck is the Pier?

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your spaghetti
Seriously, though, he's packing patchouli confetti

Ready? Sh*t, uh...

Allspice, amaranth, artichoke, acai
banana, barley, basil, bay leaves, bok choi, chai,
Seitan pot pie, marbled rye, bedhi'd black eyed peas
bing cherries, chioggia beets, golden bees, gooseberries,
cayenne, chestnut, chia, coconut, custard
dahlia, dates, saffron, dijon mustard,

Now, Faster--

Durian, curry, kale, kasava,
clove, eggplant, flax, demitasse, kava,
garlic, kumquat, lychee, oca root,
jalepenos, garbanzos, starfruit, snakefruit,

lavender, lime, karela, kohlrabi,
juniper, jak, wakame, wasabi,
papaya, papalo, marigold, mango,
oregano, sake, lemon, luo han guo,

kiwi, catnip, carolina reaper,
egusi, icaco, why can't this be cheaper?
poppies, asparagus, queen anne's carrots,
broccoli, gac, and that'll take care of us.

You have more? Wherefore dost thou obtain such crazy food,

thou crazy f*ck?

Collard greens, butter beans, vanilla,
pomegranate, pineapple, sarsaparilla,
rambutan, dragonfruit, tapioca,
atemoya, akebia, rose, mocha,

amanita muscaria, chive, potatoes,
watercress, sprouts, quinoa, tomatoes,
parsley, sage, rosemary--wait, hold on, it seems like this should be illegal.

Will these even fit in the vehicle?

Watermelon, marijuana, rhubarb,
tamarind, tarragon, turnip, swiss chard,
blueberry, caraway, fennel, cacao,
boysenberry, cumin, cantaloupe, (Wow!)

celery, sesame, yam, anise, zenia,
kolas, granolas, marconas, gardenia,
lemon, cabbage, ---, --, and a wiener,
ghost pepper, mustard, cabbage, and me and uh

got the fig, pear, peach pie, hazel, walnut, beets,
---, teff taro, chalo, ginger, -----, ---,
portabella, ---
pumpkin, radish, onion, ---,
ginko, olive, ---,

strawberry, papaya, catskill sherry,

---

, ---, ---, mimosa, --- nervosa,

cucumbers may have shamrocks... what's with the hemlocks?
---, apricots, sour truffles,

---, 

zucchini, macaroni, verchini, then vercheli,
avocadoes, pistachios, cinnamon rose, shelly,
condiments and parsley, we got ---, ---, ---.
kombucha...and oranges.

Cash only?? Uh, never mind.

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