Lyrics:18 Hours of Greatness

Lyrics

(murmurs)

PAROLE BOARD:
Welcome to the parole board
We've been assigned to review your case
Why do you fell that you've been reformed
And should get on out of this place?

RICHARD:
Oh, me?

Well, for the past 18 hours,
I thought a lot about my disgrace
And I'm not really sorry
Because I've enjoyed my incarcerace-

PAROLE BOARD:
I think he's talking about incarceration

That was refreshingly honest
Let's just go and get this over with

Eh, whatever
That's good enough for me

You are free

RICHARD:
I am free
To do what I want without consequences
Back in the mix without mending fences
There's no learning a stupid old lesson for me

Haha, wow
Oh my gosh, is this really happening right now?
This is exciting
Um, okay, well

Thank you, crooked parole board
Where do I make the payment?
Like Zelle or Venmo
If I add a zero,
will you release my new associates?

PAROLE BOARD:
In for a bill,
In for a mill

THE SNOOCH:
Can't wait to get in some trouble

BURT:
This is top-shelf recidivism

GIZMO:
Are we even committing crimes,

ALL:
If we're committing them with our friends?

PAROLE BOARD:
We don't want to rain on your parade,
but your wife recently OD'd,
And your kids were stung to death by killer bees

RICHARD:
I am free
I am free
To start a new life and find a new wife
And completely forget about my dead children
Wiping the slate clean
(ALL: It's a new start for me)

THE SNOOCH:
Richie, baby, more good news,
Cornelius died in his sleep last night of "natural causes,"
So you never have to worry about that guy trying to get revenge on you ever again

RICHARD:
That is good news
All my problems are just solving themselves

GIZMO:
And just for commedia,
we found the rap battle man in the shower and slit his throat

BURT:
Yeah, now Bobby Brandeis is part of our crew

BOBBY:
Brandeis

RICHARD:
Oh, boy
I really am the luckiest guy in the world
Everybody join in and sing with me

I am free
I am free
To do what I want without consequences
Back in the mix without mending fences
There's no learning a stupid old lesson for me
(Oh)

Haha, what a turn out
I have so many people to thank
But honestly, the person I need to thank most is myself
If it wasn't for me using my generational wealth to invest in myself,
I would have never been able to afford to buy my way out of the compromising situations I've created

Ladies and gentlemen, you're not gonna believe this, our director, oh captain, my captain, 
President-
(Oh, that's my cue)

There's no learning a stupid old lesson for me

(Oh, yeah)